Armrest Hog

A Comic Parable

Armrest Hog had a snout like a pig, but that's not why they called him Armrest Hog.

Whether he took a bus, train, or plane, he hogged both armrests. Most people were too shy to say anything.

Sometimes Armrest Hog would even extend his elbows halfway into his neighbor's seat. They would squirm, turn red, but generally kept their mouths shut.

Armrest Hog loved spreading his wings.

One day a grandmother boarded a train to see her grandchildren. She had booked a window seat and was looking forward to her journey. The train wove along the coast by rivers and coves. It was a beautiful sunny day.

Then Armrest Hog sat down beside her. His elbow stretched into her lap.

Armrest Hog quickly fell asleep as the train departed. Armrest Hog always slept. Armrest Hog always snored too.

The grandmother squirmed. She couldn't even rest her arms comfortably in her own lap.

"I have an idea," she smiled as she pulled out her yarn. "This sweater will not only keep my grandson warm." She threaded the red yarn onto her knitting needle.

"Should I?" she thought.

Just then the train hit some rough track. Armrest Hog's thick forearm fell further into her lap.

Gramma positioned the tip of her knitting needle near the soft crook of his elbow. "Should I?" she thought again. "No, I mustn't."

Just then the train jolted.

"Ouch!" cried Armrest Hog.

"What happened?" he exclaimed.

The grandmother giggled under her breath, then continued knitting, peacefully, not saying a word.

Armrest Hog folded his arms across his own chest.

A story by Pemba Umoja